I’ve been thinking a lot about healing lately.

Years ago I felt that maybe a therapist would help. People suggested it too. Some out of concern for my welfare and some because they view mental health as a weakness and wanted to point out that I was weak. First off, fuck that second group… They caused the problems in the first place, and their intentions aren’t pure. They’re dead to me.

But back to the therapist. I’ve had the opportunity to interact with a lot of different therapists over the past year in various capacities. I think the guy I found to help me out is one of the better ones.

But I don’t know if he’s helping. I think he has some good ideas, but I think he’s developed an idea of who I am in his head and he’s solving the problems for that guy.

That guy is close to me, but he’s not me, and that makes diagnosis and treatment a little like a shot in the dark.

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